Not this Time
by JadeSunrise
Summary: Alrighty this is a new one for me, never tried this kind before so hope you like it. It is a song fic and i hope i didn't mess up too bad.


Not This Time

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Yu Yu Hakusho or the song 'Should've Listened' by Nickel Back.

Rating: PG-13

(gasp! I did a PGstory!)

--

It was the same feeling as always, the rush of excitement followed by apprehension that ran through his blood every time he walked down the sidewalk, the same one leading home.

Home.

The image of a young girl with bright brown eyes and a warm smile flashed before his mind's eye causing a grin to find its way onto his face. He was sure she was probably fixing dinner by now, setting the table for two as she always did.

He picked up his pace when the thought of a warm place and her smiling face once again flashed before him. He needed to feel her presence, the comfort, and reassurance that she always gave. As he approached the small yard, he quickly made his way towards the familiar yellow door with beige welcome mat. Completely missing the items scattered about the front yard.

/ There's clothes all over the floor,

don't remember them being here before/

With out knocking like usual he pushed open the door the smile on his lips fading as the words just spoken hung in the air. The rush he felt died away as another feeling began to take its place. His stomach twisting and knotting as he stepped completely inside, his voice calling out to her.

Silence.

/Smell of perfume isn't here, why's lipstick on the mirror?

And still I don't understand.../

Smile faltering somewhat he walked towards the back of the house hoping she would be there. That's where she would wait for him sometimes, so she had to be there this time. Troubled brown eyes took in the once warm home; it didn't feel like it should.

Something was missing.

/No pictures left in the hall,

there's three new holes in my wall /

He stopped to glance into the kitchen, his eyes taking in the empty table and cold stove. The vase that he had gotten her a few months ago was lying broken against the wall, flowers scattered all over the floor. The knots tightened even more, a small shiver racing up his spine.

/ Where the hell's my credit cards?

Why's my wallet in the yard?

And still I don't understand.../

He stopped just short of the door, afraid to go closer for fear he might chase away any lingering hope he had left. He didn't want to think of the alternative. He couldn't believe what his gut was telling him, it had to be wrong, just this once.

/ Well now, I guess I should've listened,

when you said you had enough/

If it wasn't wrong, if he was right that would mean- he shook the thought from his head but could still feel the doubt lingering in his heart. His fingers gripped the door handle tightly before taking a steadying breath.

/ A little trick I picked up from my father,

in one ear and out the other.

Why's love gotta be so tough? /

She would be there; she was always there for him. No matter how many times he left or how much he screwed up she was always there. A warm smile on her face with her arms open to accept him. Holding on to that small amount of hope he shoved his initial fear aside and pushed the door open.

/ Should see the look on my face,

my shits all over the place

Why's this happen to me?

Why'd you take both sets of keys?

And still I don't understand.../

Empty.

The room was empty, not a single thing of her remained. It was as though she had never been there in the first place. Like it had been only him this whole time. He knew though, her warmth, her smile, she was supposed to be here.

A cold numbing feeling snaked its way through his body causing him to shiver. Glazed eyes stared unseeing out at the room as his body hit the wall and slumped to the floor.

/ Well now, I guess I should've listened,

when you said, you had enough.

A little trick I picked up from my father,

in one ear and out the other.

Why's love gotta be so tough? /

He sat there mind blank and body numb while his life shattered around him. The feeling more painful then everything he had experienced so far.

It hurt to breath.

Why was the room out of focus?

/ And now I guess I should've listened.../

This was their home. The place he took refuge in from everything outside. Where nothing else mattered but the person inside waiting for him. He was supposed to leave the pain outside when he stepped through the door, not experience more when he stepped inside.

Not again.

She was his; she was the warmth and happiness that he was never able to have. She was here to protect him from the pain like she always did.

/ There's clothes all over my floor,

I don't remember them being there before.

There's no candles in here,

lipstick still on my mirror.

And still I don't understand.../

He could feel the moment his heart broke hear it when it shattered. He would remember the exact moment he felt the darkness wrap around him once again. He was falling once again and this time there would be no one to pull him back up.

/ And now I guess I should've listened,

when you said, you had enough.

A little trick I picked up from my father,

In one ear and out the other.

Why must love be so tough? /

He sat there for a few more moments, letting the memories flash through his mind all leading up to this point. His heart refusing to believe what his mind was showing him. What his eyes could see clearly that his heart would not.

She was gone.

She had told him so many times before, with each look, each subtle touch or phrase. Told him she couldn't take it anymore, yet he refused to see any of it.

/ And now I guess I should've listened,

when you said you had enough /

But he didn't see, didn't hear any of it. He only saw what he wanted to, her warmth and comfort, the smile she always gave. That never quiet reached her eyes...

/ A little trick I picked up from my father,

in one ear and out the other /

Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath before reopening them and standing up. He turned around and made his way back through the small house going back to the front door. His eyes never straying as he passed the kitchen and sitting room, never leaving the yellow door set before him.

His fingers lingered on the cool metal handle before he shut the door, the quiet click ringing loudly in his ears. Turning around he stuffed his hands in his jacket before starting down the pathway. Just as he reached the end of the path, he turned his eyes back towards the dark house.

/ Why's love gotta be so tough? /

As he turned the corner, his figure disappearing into the shadows one word slipped from his lips.

"Keiko..."

Fin

--

So what'd ya think? I was in a mood and I was listening to this when the idea struck me. I'm not sure why but I had to write it. Though EVIL comes to mind- I just had to write this so don't hate me all you Keiko fans out there, I like her too!

KB


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